as time goes by...

Well, my first born turn 6 years old today. She is my sensitive, emotional, sometimes-drama-queen, sweet girl. This year so far has been the most interesting and joyful. With the start of kindergarten we are both learning and growing up. I love that we have these mini-adult-like conversations about empathy and seeing people through God's eyes...loving kindness to those who aren't loving nor kind and how it can be hard but God commands us to do so..."you don't have to be friends with everyone, but you do have to be friendly"...making good choices when we are not around to guide you...you cannot change or control anyone else, you can only control your behavior..."right is always right no matter how few people are doing it, and wrong and wrong no matter how many people are doing it"...yes, it is possible to have more than one good girl friend at a time...just don't play with the boys on the playground if they are going to tackle you and yes, they are very silly...God's love and purpose for us and Christ's sacrifice. It's exhaustingly thrilling. She's understanding some of it, how much I am not sure because we do seem to have the same conversations every day, but I remind myself that we are in our 30's and we still can have a hard time doing all of these!

What joy and what fear to have to so much responsibility for our children. I really hope and pray that I don't screw them up too bad...I pray for God's protection from my human-ness and failures. Now you see how I have the tendency to worry and how I desperately need to give things to God...over and over it seems. I don't just need to lay things at the foot of the cross, I need to bury them, pour cement over them, topped by heavy boulders at the throne of grace and mercy.

My sweet and sassy girl, I pray for you to love Him and desire to know Him more each day. I pray that you will choose to follow the path He sets before you by faith all the days of your life. I pray that He will bless you and be well pleased with you. You are God's little princess and I hope you know how much you are loved.

Happy Birthday, Beautiful Girl! I love you!

On another note...I picked up a book at the store yesterday. It's called Youniquely Woman: Becoming Who God Designed You to Be by Kay Arthur, Emilie Barnes and Donna Otto. I have read only the first chapter, but it already seems Fab-u-lous! They each share their regrets and mistakes as young women and young mothers so that we can learn from theirs and choose to live life intentionally and choose the uncommon path...the path God set out for us.

"In these days of please-yourself-at-any-cost, living with intentionality might be called 'choosing an uncommon path.' Writer Fredrick Buechner once said, 'My assumption is that the story of any one of us is, in some measure, the story of all of us.' Our stories as Christan women -- daughters, wives, mothers, aunts, and grandmothers -- have common elements. In a broad sense, each life is like another. At different points in our lives, most of us have had similar hopes, goals, and dreams. All of us begin our journeys with aspirations and desires. But somewhere along the way the trails separate. The common woman moves into a common life. The uncommon woman, however, takes another path and becomes all that GOD intended her to be. 'The common begin, but the uncommon finish.' That's one of the thoughts I've repeated to myself through the years. And what is the reason paths separate? What causes one woman to accept an ordinary path into n ordinary life and another to end her story with great fulfillment and joy?
The path divider is courage.
Courageous choices at the crossroads of life separate uncommon life stories from everyday ones...
Yes, it takes courage to be intentional in your life.
It takes courage to choose an uncommon path.
It takes courage to stand up and stand out as a unique creation of God.
It takes courage to be the woman God created you to be as you live through each life season and seek to please God.
It takes courage not to compare yourself with women in movies, magazines and books.
It takes courage to swim against the strong current of popular culture.
It takes courage not to base your life on competition or defensiveness."

And this is just in the first chapter! Can you see why I am excited about it? "Increasing Measure. I understand this to mean that even up to the day before I die, I will accept the need for change and seek direction for that change, with the result that I am 'ever increasing' in those areas of life that matter most." I pray that God will grant me the courage to change the things in me that keep me from being the woman He desires me to be. For the biggest obstacle to my change...my joy...my freedom...is me.