I am still loving my bible study, No Other Gods by Kelly Minter. The Word that we are chosen, that we are God's children, that we are more precious than jewels, that we are the royal priesthood...have so spoken to my heart. We can stop seeking and searching for our identity when we realize that God has already found us. We were lost, but now are found. We were blind, but now can see...
This song (an old Watermark song) has been my song of the week...and is my anthem going into this weekend's women's encounter. I am praying for peace, freedom and obedience.
Drive to Humility
I have been chosen to be driven to humility.
To be wholly refined in Your Holy blaze of fire.
And even when I'm sturdy, I pray You'll keep my knees dirty.
May the heart of Your will be my only heart's desire
One thousand miles of road not taken
Sure I tremble, yet my faith will not be shaken
You're teaching me, You're in control
Sure the waves could knock me down but I say let 'em roll'
Cause I have been chosen to be driven to humility
To be wholly refined in Your holy blaze of fire
And even when I'm sturdy, I pray You'll keep my knees dirty
May the heart of Your will be my only heat's desire
I don't mean to boast about my tomorrows
But I'm resting in the man who knows my pain and all my sorrows...
Well you're kindness brought repentance
For the years of foolish pride
Sometimes You've got to knock me down
Just so I can see the light.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Friday, October 24, 2008
ok, God, i get it...
I am reading several books at one time right now. I am reading Loving What Is by Byron Katie that a friend is letting me borrow. Warning: It is a bit kooky. And, yes, that is a profound literary criticism. The premise is rational, but I think she tends to lean a bit more to the eastern philosophy or actually just her philosophy. And her philosophy is a bit kooky. The basic premise is that we can change our thinking through a series of questions. Once we can acknowledge the truth behind our flawed human thinking we can accept reality with a sense a peace and understanding. It's thinking and loving with detachment. I have kept an open, yet prayed for a protected mind, while reading this. While taking it with a grain of salt, there are a few things that have stood out to me...
"If you begin by pointing the finger of blame outward, then the focus isn't on you. We're often quite sure about what other people need to do, how they should live, whom they should be with. We have 20/20 vision about other people, but not about ourselves. When you do this work, you see who you are by seeing who think other people are. Eventually you come to see that everything outside of you is a reflection of your own thinking. You are the storyteller, the projector of the story, and the world is the projected image of your thoughts...ask you yourself: is it true? Can you absolutely know it to be true? How do you react when you think this thought? Who would you be without the thought?"
As I have shared before, it has been very humbly to acknowledge my flawed and destructive thinking. And not just toward myself, but toward others. It's hard to look at the defects in myself. But, I am grateful for this lesson, because God is working on me to remove them. Or at least change them. He is, after all, the master at working all things for good.
I am also doing the bible study No Other Gods by Kelly Minter. It is about the functional gods that we can be worshipping in our lives without our even realizing it. I think we, as a society, are at an all time high with this. I don't know if we ever have had so many people seeking and obsessing over things other than God. Ok, we probably have (remember Babylon...the 60s?)...but, since things cycle around, it seems we are in the Renaissance cycle waiting for the Victorian Age. Food, Drugs, Alcohol, Porn, Sex are obviously the big ones. But, also, Money, Power, Status, Position, Image, Body Image, Acceptance, Pride, Shopping/Materialism, Relationships, Busyness, TV, Gaming, Denial...and the list can go on and on.
Kelly listed two definitions for idols that have not only opened my eyes, but have convicted me.
"Most of us think of an idol as a statue of wood, stone, or metal worshipped by pagan people...In biblical terms, it is something other than God that we set our heart on (Luke 12:29; 1 Cor 10:19), that motivates us (1 Cor 4:5), that masters and rules us (Ps 119:133; Eph 5:5) or that we trust, fear or serve (Isa. 42:17; Matt 6:24; Luke 12:4-5)...And idol can also be referred to as a 'false god or a 'functional god.'
"An idol is something within creation that is inflated to function as a substitute for God. All sorts of things are potential idols, depending only on our attitudes and actions [perhaps also our thinking?] toward them...Idolatry may not involve explicit denials of God's existence or character. It may well come in for the form of an over attachment to something that is, in itself, perfectly good...An idol can be a physical object, a property, a person, an activity, a role, an institution, a hope, an image, an idea, a pleasure, a hero - anything that can substitute for God."
"The evil in our desire typically does not lie in what we want, but that we want it too much."
Anyone feeling convicted? I know I did. Never before did I think of relationships, acceptance, or body image as idols before. I knew from my time in Alanon and Recovery that they were not healthy and I have been working on them. But, I sure did hear a stern word from God while working on this study. Like it says, in and of themselves, they are not bad. But when I have an over attachment to them, that is when they have become idols. How much time and energy have I spent thinking and obsessing over these things that have produced nothing by worry, fear and anxiety?
Kelly Minter says, "I remember that awful feeling of being under the power of something or someone...I think the only thing worse than being under the control of something to no fault of my own is to be under the control of something I've actually created. It's pain with extra sides of guilt and regret...Lack of inward freedom is one of the most agonizing experiences of human existence. The one redeeming aspect is that blessings can grow out of our exasperating struggles with giants who are stronger than we are. I have been thoroughly changed, mostly for the good, from such bouts with weakness and powerlessness, even though it seemed unimaginable at the time."
Well, welcome to Celebrate Recovery! That is basically the 1-8 steps of recovery...the process and work I have been doing for over 3 years. I am beginning to see a recurring pattern here for me. Do you think God is speaking to me? I mean, it's not just the Loving What Is book or the No Other Gods bible study, but a friend gave me the book, A Woman and Her God. I picked it up last night before Celebrate Recovery. God granted me 15 minutes before the meeting started for some peace and quiet. With the kids in bed, Jonathan at work, candles lit and a fire in the fireplace (yes, it is actually in the 50s in Texas...cold enough for a fire, if you ask me!), I praised Him for that quiet time. I prayed for our home, our women and our meeting. Then I read the first chapter of the book. God picked it out just perfectly and led me to read it as our devotional before our meeting.
"An unsatisfied soul is an accident waiting to happen. Consider the saying, 'Nature abhors a vacuum.' Human nature also abhors a vacuum. In other words, we avoid feeling empty and always find ways to fill it. God created that void so we would seek Him. We are not satisfied by simply accepting salvation and then ascending to heaven when the time comes. Instead, God wants us to have a relationship with Him during our lifetime. When we don't, we set ourselves up for disaster. If we don't find satisfaction with God, we will look for it somewhere else [this is a message dear to my heart and one I share with anyone interested in recovery]. When we do, we default to one of two things: subsistence living or substitute living.
Consider the word subsistence. One definition of the helpless is that they are poor and needy, 'subsisting on the alms of others.' The picture painted here is a beggar. If we subsist on the alms of others, our heart is just a vacuum; we're needy people because we were created that way. We need to be loved. We need to be affirmed. Those are not weaknesses. We were created with those needs, and we are like beggars when our soul is not satisfied by God. It's like we walk around all day with an empty cup, asking people to fill it up. We may go to our spouse, our children, our friends. We may even ask our coworkers, neighbors, and pastor, 'Can you fill my cup?' The problem is that we go to them seeking what only Christ was mean to provide. We can affirm one another, even fulfill one another, but it was God's design right from the beginning that He alone would satisfy our soul's desire. We were meant to thrive on the riches of His love."
The next part about substitute living is clinging to things other than the love of God...idols, anyone? Since we have already covered the idol talk...I will leave it here.
Does anyone else see the recurring theme of His word for me? OK, God, I get it! It's either really exciting or really scary when you know God so desperately wants you to get His message that He comes at you from every angle. I am choosing to be really excited...God is talking to me! He loves me so much that He is captivating my thoughts with everything I read and everyone I talk to. He loves me enough to change me. I pray that I will be obedient to His word and open to His work in me. I pray to be a different person at the end of this particular jounrey. I would like to be a shiny trophy for God...a reflection of His grace for His glory.
"If you begin by pointing the finger of blame outward, then the focus isn't on you. We're often quite sure about what other people need to do, how they should live, whom they should be with. We have 20/20 vision about other people, but not about ourselves. When you do this work, you see who you are by seeing who think other people are. Eventually you come to see that everything outside of you is a reflection of your own thinking. You are the storyteller, the projector of the story, and the world is the projected image of your thoughts...ask you yourself: is it true? Can you absolutely know it to be true? How do you react when you think this thought? Who would you be without the thought?"
As I have shared before, it has been very humbly to acknowledge my flawed and destructive thinking. And not just toward myself, but toward others. It's hard to look at the defects in myself. But, I am grateful for this lesson, because God is working on me to remove them. Or at least change them. He is, after all, the master at working all things for good.
I am also doing the bible study No Other Gods by Kelly Minter. It is about the functional gods that we can be worshipping in our lives without our even realizing it. I think we, as a society, are at an all time high with this. I don't know if we ever have had so many people seeking and obsessing over things other than God. Ok, we probably have (remember Babylon...the 60s?)...but, since things cycle around, it seems we are in the Renaissance cycle waiting for the Victorian Age. Food, Drugs, Alcohol, Porn, Sex are obviously the big ones. But, also, Money, Power, Status, Position, Image, Body Image, Acceptance, Pride, Shopping/Materialism, Relationships, Busyness, TV, Gaming, Denial...and the list can go on and on.
Kelly listed two definitions for idols that have not only opened my eyes, but have convicted me.
"Most of us think of an idol as a statue of wood, stone, or metal worshipped by pagan people...In biblical terms, it is something other than God that we set our heart on (Luke 12:29; 1 Cor 10:19), that motivates us (1 Cor 4:5), that masters and rules us (Ps 119:133; Eph 5:5) or that we trust, fear or serve (Isa. 42:17; Matt 6:24; Luke 12:4-5)...And idol can also be referred to as a 'false god or a 'functional god.'
"An idol is something within creation that is inflated to function as a substitute for God. All sorts of things are potential idols, depending only on our attitudes and actions [perhaps also our thinking?] toward them...Idolatry may not involve explicit denials of God's existence or character. It may well come in for the form of an over attachment to something that is, in itself, perfectly good...An idol can be a physical object, a property, a person, an activity, a role, an institution, a hope, an image, an idea, a pleasure, a hero - anything that can substitute for God."
"The evil in our desire typically does not lie in what we want, but that we want it too much."
Anyone feeling convicted? I know I did. Never before did I think of relationships, acceptance, or body image as idols before. I knew from my time in Alanon and Recovery that they were not healthy and I have been working on them. But, I sure did hear a stern word from God while working on this study. Like it says, in and of themselves, they are not bad. But when I have an over attachment to them, that is when they have become idols. How much time and energy have I spent thinking and obsessing over these things that have produced nothing by worry, fear and anxiety?
Kelly Minter says, "I remember that awful feeling of being under the power of something or someone...I think the only thing worse than being under the control of something to no fault of my own is to be under the control of something I've actually created. It's pain with extra sides of guilt and regret...Lack of inward freedom is one of the most agonizing experiences of human existence. The one redeeming aspect is that blessings can grow out of our exasperating struggles with giants who are stronger than we are. I have been thoroughly changed, mostly for the good, from such bouts with weakness and powerlessness, even though it seemed unimaginable at the time."
Well, welcome to Celebrate Recovery! That is basically the 1-8 steps of recovery...the process and work I have been doing for over 3 years. I am beginning to see a recurring pattern here for me. Do you think God is speaking to me? I mean, it's not just the Loving What Is book or the No Other Gods bible study, but a friend gave me the book, A Woman and Her God. I picked it up last night before Celebrate Recovery. God granted me 15 minutes before the meeting started for some peace and quiet. With the kids in bed, Jonathan at work, candles lit and a fire in the fireplace (yes, it is actually in the 50s in Texas...cold enough for a fire, if you ask me!), I praised Him for that quiet time. I prayed for our home, our women and our meeting. Then I read the first chapter of the book. God picked it out just perfectly and led me to read it as our devotional before our meeting.
"An unsatisfied soul is an accident waiting to happen. Consider the saying, 'Nature abhors a vacuum.' Human nature also abhors a vacuum. In other words, we avoid feeling empty and always find ways to fill it. God created that void so we would seek Him. We are not satisfied by simply accepting salvation and then ascending to heaven when the time comes. Instead, God wants us to have a relationship with Him during our lifetime. When we don't, we set ourselves up for disaster. If we don't find satisfaction with God, we will look for it somewhere else [this is a message dear to my heart and one I share with anyone interested in recovery]. When we do, we default to one of two things: subsistence living or substitute living.
Consider the word subsistence. One definition of the helpless is that they are poor and needy, 'subsisting on the alms of others.' The picture painted here is a beggar. If we subsist on the alms of others, our heart is just a vacuum; we're needy people because we were created that way. We need to be loved. We need to be affirmed. Those are not weaknesses. We were created with those needs, and we are like beggars when our soul is not satisfied by God. It's like we walk around all day with an empty cup, asking people to fill it up. We may go to our spouse, our children, our friends. We may even ask our coworkers, neighbors, and pastor, 'Can you fill my cup?' The problem is that we go to them seeking what only Christ was mean to provide. We can affirm one another, even fulfill one another, but it was God's design right from the beginning that He alone would satisfy our soul's desire. We were meant to thrive on the riches of His love."
The next part about substitute living is clinging to things other than the love of God...idols, anyone? Since we have already covered the idol talk...I will leave it here.
Does anyone else see the recurring theme of His word for me? OK, God, I get it! It's either really exciting or really scary when you know God so desperately wants you to get His message that He comes at you from every angle. I am choosing to be really excited...God is talking to me! He loves me so much that He is captivating my thoughts with everything I read and everyone I talk to. He loves me enough to change me. I pray that I will be obedient to His word and open to His work in me. I pray to be a different person at the end of this particular jounrey. I would like to be a shiny trophy for God...a reflection of His grace for His glory.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
don't feed the animals...
A good friend just sent this to me per our conversation about the battlefield of the mind...
Philippians 4:8-9
"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you."
Joshua 1:8
"Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do."
The Two Wolves
One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.
He said, "My son, the battle is between two 'wolves' inside us all. One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride , superiority, and ego.
The other is Good. It is joy, peace , love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather:"Which wolf wins?"
The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."
Philippians 4:8-9
"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you."
Joshua 1:8
"Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do."
The Two Wolves
One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.
He said, "My son, the battle is between two 'wolves' inside us all. One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride , superiority, and ego.
The other is Good. It is joy, peace , love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather:"Which wolf wins?"
The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."
Friday, October 17, 2008
a change of perspective...
I have been trying to remind myself that my thoughts produce my feelings. It's not the people or the world around me...it's my perception of them that produces the thoughts that produce my feelings. It has been very humbling to see and accept how flawed my thinking is. But, I am beginning to see how empowering this is...when I compare myself to others and allow myself to think that external factors are making me feel a certain way, then I am giving all power to them. Whereas, if I gently remind myself that it is MY thoughts...well, then I have the power of Christ in me to change my thinking. I no longer want to rely on my flawed human thinking...I want to think like Christ. I would like to see the world and the flawed humans in it through His eyes and with His perspective.
It's hard...if there ever was an understatement. It's work for me right now. Hard work. Daily Work. Sometimes even minute to minute work. I asked someone if it ever gets easier and I was assured that, yes, it does. It never stops...if I want to continue to mature, grow and change, then the work will never end. But, it should get easier. This person also defined trust and obey in a way that I never knew of before and has changed the way I think of them now. He said that the Greek root origin for obey means to "listen attentively." Wow...how inviting. How doable. I would like to listen attentively. He said that trust is the next step to faith. That faith is the core and center of everything...without it we are lost. But, trust is what we do with our faith. It is trusting God to take us to the next step and trust that He will take care of it and us. Trust is Faith in action...the best way to emulate faith is to walk in trust.
How desperately I want to trust God with everything. I think I fool myself into believing I do, but I so don't. My worries, fears, insecurities, flawed demand thinking and comparing are all symptoms of not trusting God with everything. I am still trying to find the balance in life...to be in the world, but not of it. To love like Christ, but with healthy boundaries with unhealthy people. To not have an easy life, but a simple life. Remember that book that I raved about this summer? Breathe: Creating Space for God in a Hectic Life? I was so inspired and determined to have that...to simplify. And before I knew it, I am looking at my calendar, feeling more than a little overwhelmed, wondering how I got here and not quite seeing how I can change it.
I have been working on boundaries, but realizing that it is hard for me. I think I am naturally an open, unguarded and trusting person...trying to set boundaries and seeing the need for some guardedness is putting me out of my comfort zone. I am trying to listen to my intuition that I have always ignored in the past. But, to be honest, I am feeling that I need to have more boundaries than less...trust less people than more. That most people have their own issues and are too busy looking at everyone else's to be bothered to see their own and hurting people, me, in the process. It saddens me to feel this way...but, I think God is showing me that the only One that I can truly and completely trust and depend on is Him. And that maybe He only gives us a couple of true friends at a time to help us through out journey of becoming more like Him.
One of my old and dear friends, Jackie, posted the below on their blog (It's a really good one...check it out at www.fuchsfamily.blogspot.com) and it spoke so much to me this morning. The quote from Charles Swindoll speaks of a sense of healthy detachment that is so much a part of recovery, but frankly, hard for me to achieve. Again with the balance...to be relational, but with a healthy detachment in order to keep God's perspective.
In my times with God I've been reading through Proverbs. You would be right to assume that I am searching for solid direction and wisdom this Fall (insert smiley face). Since the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge and fools despise wisdom and instruction (see Proverbs 1) I want to be rolling with the first part of that Proverb. Here is a quote from Charles Swindoll's Living on the Ragged Edge that I came across. Thought I would once again share something that has helped give me a clearer understanding of how I should see my little world.
"I've thought about what the Scriptures are teaching on wisdom and I've come up with this : Wisdom is the God-given ability to see life with rare objectivity and to handle life with rare stability. When we operate in the sphere of the wisdom of God, when it is at work in our mind and in our life, we look at life through lenses of perception, and we respond to it in calm confidence. There's a remarkable absence of fear. We are not seized with panic. We can either lose our jobs or can be promoted in our work, and neither will derail us. Why? Because we see it with God-given objectivity. And we handle it in His wisdom.We can dip into an unexpected valley or we can soar to the pinnacle of prosperity, and we can cope with both extremes. His wisdom provides us the necessary objectivity and stability. That's the way life is when it is lived in the palm of His hand. This is not some dreamland fantasy. It is reality. It is the ability to live above the drag of human opinion and horizontal perspective. It is what happens within us when wisdom goes to work."
It's hard...if there ever was an understatement. It's work for me right now. Hard work. Daily Work. Sometimes even minute to minute work. I asked someone if it ever gets easier and I was assured that, yes, it does. It never stops...if I want to continue to mature, grow and change, then the work will never end. But, it should get easier. This person also defined trust and obey in a way that I never knew of before and has changed the way I think of them now. He said that the Greek root origin for obey means to "listen attentively." Wow...how inviting. How doable. I would like to listen attentively. He said that trust is the next step to faith. That faith is the core and center of everything...without it we are lost. But, trust is what we do with our faith. It is trusting God to take us to the next step and trust that He will take care of it and us. Trust is Faith in action...the best way to emulate faith is to walk in trust.
How desperately I want to trust God with everything. I think I fool myself into believing I do, but I so don't. My worries, fears, insecurities, flawed demand thinking and comparing are all symptoms of not trusting God with everything. I am still trying to find the balance in life...to be in the world, but not of it. To love like Christ, but with healthy boundaries with unhealthy people. To not have an easy life, but a simple life. Remember that book that I raved about this summer? Breathe: Creating Space for God in a Hectic Life? I was so inspired and determined to have that...to simplify. And before I knew it, I am looking at my calendar, feeling more than a little overwhelmed, wondering how I got here and not quite seeing how I can change it.
I have been working on boundaries, but realizing that it is hard for me. I think I am naturally an open, unguarded and trusting person...trying to set boundaries and seeing the need for some guardedness is putting me out of my comfort zone. I am trying to listen to my intuition that I have always ignored in the past. But, to be honest, I am feeling that I need to have more boundaries than less...trust less people than more. That most people have their own issues and are too busy looking at everyone else's to be bothered to see their own and hurting people, me, in the process. It saddens me to feel this way...but, I think God is showing me that the only One that I can truly and completely trust and depend on is Him. And that maybe He only gives us a couple of true friends at a time to help us through out journey of becoming more like Him.
One of my old and dear friends, Jackie, posted the below on their blog (It's a really good one...check it out at www.fuchsfamily.blogspot.com) and it spoke so much to me this morning. The quote from Charles Swindoll speaks of a sense of healthy detachment that is so much a part of recovery, but frankly, hard for me to achieve. Again with the balance...to be relational, but with a healthy detachment in order to keep God's perspective.
In my times with God I've been reading through Proverbs. You would be right to assume that I am searching for solid direction and wisdom this Fall (insert smiley face). Since the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge and fools despise wisdom and instruction (see Proverbs 1) I want to be rolling with the first part of that Proverb. Here is a quote from Charles Swindoll's Living on the Ragged Edge that I came across. Thought I would once again share something that has helped give me a clearer understanding of how I should see my little world.
"I've thought about what the Scriptures are teaching on wisdom and I've come up with this : Wisdom is the God-given ability to see life with rare objectivity and to handle life with rare stability. When we operate in the sphere of the wisdom of God, when it is at work in our mind and in our life, we look at life through lenses of perception, and we respond to it in calm confidence. There's a remarkable absence of fear. We are not seized with panic. We can either lose our jobs or can be promoted in our work, and neither will derail us. Why? Because we see it with God-given objectivity. And we handle it in His wisdom.We can dip into an unexpected valley or we can soar to the pinnacle of prosperity, and we can cope with both extremes. His wisdom provides us the necessary objectivity and stability. That's the way life is when it is lived in the palm of His hand. This is not some dreamland fantasy. It is reality. It is the ability to live above the drag of human opinion and horizontal perspective. It is what happens within us when wisdom goes to work."
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
what the world needs now...is love
I have been reading a lot lately. My bible, bible studies, books...I am no scholar and all I have to offer is my opinion and my heart...just like everyone else. I just read some articles about politics. Again, I am no scholar. But, I can tell you that the politics of the world, especially of our nation, are making me sick to my stomach right now. Everyone has an opinion...and in fact, I began to wonder why I was even reading the opinions of others when the only opinion on this election that counts for me...is mine. I was reading an article by Eve Ensler (feminist, activist and playwright who wrote The Vagina Monologues) against Sarah Palin. It was so harsh...so personally harsh. I don't know Sarah Palin...but, I have begun to wonder when people stopped being kind. At one time, surely, we were able to express an opinion, without being so downright...well, mean. I know that sounds a bit pithy, but it's true. I don't know...our opinions are about us and how we feel...granted usually how we feel about something external from us...but, still shouldn't we just focus on us rather than the external? How we feel versus what it wrong with someone else? There is nothing we can do to change the external...we can only change ourselves. Maybe these people that are being so unkind think that eventually enough people will listen to them, agree with them and then the external things will begin to change. Well, maybe. But, frankly I would have an easier time (and with a clearer conscience) changing my mind, opinions, thought or beliefs through love and kindness. Hate just makes my stomach turn over. And do people realize that when they try to win their argument and opinion with judgment and hate, every ounce of respect and credibility they had...just went out the window...along with their venomous hot air.
Eve Ensler has done a lot of good for violence against women and human rights...and apparently she really loves polar bears. But, all in all, she is an actress and playwright. Every opinion and voice has value, because there is a human created by God standing behind it. But why does it seem some people think theirs counts more than others? I understand that Angelina Jolie thinks Obama would be "nice" for families. And no, I have not bought any magazines or gone to people.com recently (I have given them up...it's a long story, but let's just say too many convictions about their negative impact on me). This was on the home page of the Yahoo News. Seriously?? Who Angelina Jolie thinks is a viable candidate is news worthy? Eve Ensler was able to write an article that blasted Sarah Palin and everything she stands for not just politically, but personally...and it's news? Why doesn't she thank her country, that was, yes, founded on faith in God and soldiers that died for her right to have her freedom of speech, for her opportunity to spout her harsh opinions? I don't watch "The View" that often, but I had it on when I was paying bills one morning. Again, it made me sick to my stomach. Poor Elisabeth was just being attacked left and right, not just for her minority beliefs on the show, but personally. They barely let her get a word in and belittle her when she does. And sadly, she is probably the most educated person about politics and the election than anyone else on that show. When did the opinions of people that make movies, plays, hit records or fancy pictures start to matter more than police officers, teachers, firefighters, doctors, moms, dads, soldiers on the front line? I know a lot of actors and such do some really nice things...but, frankly with as much as they have they should and could do a lot more. And just my personal opinion, if you choose to spend most of your time living in another country, I just don't think your opinion should matter that much.
Right after I read this article, I came to another one. This one made me smile from the inside out. It reminded of the book I read The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom. If you haven't read it before, you must. It is the amazing story of a Christian family hiding persecuted Jews during the Holocaust. They all ended up in a concentration camp and Corrie Ten Boom lived to tell about it. About how her faith kept her from hate. How her love for her true Redeemer and Healer allowed her to heal from the scars of the war and share her healing story of faith and love with others. It was the love she received from her Father that allowed her to love like she did. So much so that she even spent her time after the war helping, not just the Christians and Jews, but the very people that hated and persecuted them...she reached out, forgave and loved the very ones that destroyed her family. She spent the rest of her life using her story to show the love and kindness of God to others.
Why can't we just all get along?? But, seriously...what's that saying..."It's easier to catch bees with honey?" When did we stop being nice? Can't we stand for our beliefs without having to put the other person down for theirs? There is a saying in recovery..."Do you want to be right...or well?" I don't know how right we are if the only way we can prove our point is to make the other person wrong. And not just wrong...but small. Everyone has value...because God says so. I think it's time we start treating people as such. Words can hurt. Love can heal.
Here is the article:
In the beginning, there was a boy, a girl and an apple.
He was a teenager in a death camp in Nazi-controlled Germany. She was a bit younger, living free in the village, her family posing as Christians. Their eyes met through a barbed-wire fence and she wondered what she could do for this handsome young man.
She was carrying apples, and decided to throw one over the fence. He caught it and ran away toward the barracks. And so it began.
As they tell it, they returned the following day and she tossed an apple again. And each day after that, for months, the routine continued. She threw, he caught, and both scurried away.
They never knew one another's name, never uttered a single word, so fearful they would be spotted by a guard. Until one day he came to the fence and told her he would not be back.
"I won't see you anymore," she said. "Right, right. Don't come around anymore," he answered.
And so their brief and innocent tryst came to an end. Or so they thought.
Before he was shipped off to a death camp, before the girl with the apples appeared, Herman Rosenblat's life had already changed forever.
His family had been forced from their home into a ghetto. His father fell ill with typhus. They smuggled a doctor in, but there was little he could do to help. The man knew what was coming. He summoned his youngest son. "If you ever get out of this war," Rosenblat remembers him saying, "don't carry a grudge in your heart and tolerate everybody."
Two days later, the father was dead. Herman was just 12.
The family was moved again, this time to a ghetto where he shared a single room with his mother, three brothers, uncle, aunt and four cousins. He and his brothers got working papers and he got a factory job painting stretchers for the Germans.
Eventually, the ghetto was dissolved. As the Poles were ushered out, two lines formed. In one, those with working papers, including Rosenblat and his brothers. In the other, everyone else, including the boys' mother.
Rosenblat went over to his mother. "I want to be with you," he cried. She spoke harshly to him and one of his brothers pulled him away. His heart was broken.
"I was destroyed," Rosenblat remembers. It was the last time he would ever see her.
It was in Schlieben, Germany, that Rosenblat and the girl he later called his angel would meet. Roma Radziki worked on a nearby farm and the boy caught her eye. And bringing him food - apples, mostly, but bread, too - became part of her routine.
"Every day," she says, "every day I went."
Rosenblat says he would secretly eat the apples and never mentioned a word of it to anyone else for fear word would spread and he'd be punished or even killed. When Rosenblat learned he would be moved again, this time to Theresienstadt, in what is now the Czech Republic, he told the girl he would not return.
Not long after, the Russians rolled in on a tank and liberated Rosenblat's camp. The war was over. She went to nursing school in Israel. He went to London and learned to be an electrician.
Their daily ritual faded from their minds.
"I forgot," she says.
"I forgot about her, too," he recalls.
Rosenblat eventually moved to New York. He was running a television repair shop when a friend phoned him one Sunday afternoon and said he wanted to fix him up with a girl. Rosenblat was unenthusiastic: He didn't like blind dates, he told his friend. He didn't know what she would look like. But finally, he relented.
It went well enough. She was Polish and easygoing. Conversation flowed, and eventually talk turned to their wartime experiences. Rosenblat recited the litany of camps he had been in, and Radziki's ears perked up. She had been in Schlieben, too, hiding from the Nazis.
She spoke of a boy she would visit, of the apples she would bring, how he was sent away.
And then, the words that would change their lives forever: "That was me," he said.
Rosenblat knew he could never leave this woman again. He proposed marriage that very night. She thought he was crazy. Two months later she said yes.
In 1958, they were married at a synagogue in the Bronx, a world away from their sorrows, more than a decade after they had thought they were separated forever.
It all seems too remarkable to be believed. Rosenblat insists it is all true.
Even after their engagement, the couple kept the story mostly to themselves, telling only those closest to them. Herman says it's because they met at a point in his life he'd rather forget. But eventually, he said, he felt the need to share it with others.
Now, the Rosenblats' story has inspired a children's book, Angel Girl. And eventually, there are plans to turn it into a film, The Flower of the Fence. Herman expects to publish his memoirs next year.
Michael Berenbaum, a distinguished Holocaust scholar who has authored a dozen books, has read Rosenblatt's memoir and sees no reason to question it.
"I wasn't born then so I can't say I was an eyewitness. But it's credible," Berenbaum said. "Crazier things have happened."
Herman is now 79, and Roma is three years his junior; they celebrated their 50th anniversary this summer. He often tells their story to Jewish and other groups.
He believes the lesson is the very one his father imparted.
"Not to hate and to love, that's what I am lecturing about," he said. "Not to hold a grudge and to tolerate everybody, to love people, to be tolerant of people, no matter who they are or what they are."
The anger of the death camps, Herman says, has gone away. He forgave. And his life has been filled with love.
Eve Ensler has done a lot of good for violence against women and human rights...and apparently she really loves polar bears. But, all in all, she is an actress and playwright. Every opinion and voice has value, because there is a human created by God standing behind it. But why does it seem some people think theirs counts more than others? I understand that Angelina Jolie thinks Obama would be "nice" for families. And no, I have not bought any magazines or gone to people.com recently (I have given them up...it's a long story, but let's just say too many convictions about their negative impact on me). This was on the home page of the Yahoo News. Seriously?? Who Angelina Jolie thinks is a viable candidate is news worthy? Eve Ensler was able to write an article that blasted Sarah Palin and everything she stands for not just politically, but personally...and it's news? Why doesn't she thank her country, that was, yes, founded on faith in God and soldiers that died for her right to have her freedom of speech, for her opportunity to spout her harsh opinions? I don't watch "The View" that often, but I had it on when I was paying bills one morning. Again, it made me sick to my stomach. Poor Elisabeth was just being attacked left and right, not just for her minority beliefs on the show, but personally. They barely let her get a word in and belittle her when she does. And sadly, she is probably the most educated person about politics and the election than anyone else on that show. When did the opinions of people that make movies, plays, hit records or fancy pictures start to matter more than police officers, teachers, firefighters, doctors, moms, dads, soldiers on the front line? I know a lot of actors and such do some really nice things...but, frankly with as much as they have they should and could do a lot more. And just my personal opinion, if you choose to spend most of your time living in another country, I just don't think your opinion should matter that much.
Right after I read this article, I came to another one. This one made me smile from the inside out. It reminded of the book I read The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom. If you haven't read it before, you must. It is the amazing story of a Christian family hiding persecuted Jews during the Holocaust. They all ended up in a concentration camp and Corrie Ten Boom lived to tell about it. About how her faith kept her from hate. How her love for her true Redeemer and Healer allowed her to heal from the scars of the war and share her healing story of faith and love with others. It was the love she received from her Father that allowed her to love like she did. So much so that she even spent her time after the war helping, not just the Christians and Jews, but the very people that hated and persecuted them...she reached out, forgave and loved the very ones that destroyed her family. She spent the rest of her life using her story to show the love and kindness of God to others.
Why can't we just all get along?? But, seriously...what's that saying..."It's easier to catch bees with honey?" When did we stop being nice? Can't we stand for our beliefs without having to put the other person down for theirs? There is a saying in recovery..."Do you want to be right...or well?" I don't know how right we are if the only way we can prove our point is to make the other person wrong. And not just wrong...but small. Everyone has value...because God says so. I think it's time we start treating people as such. Words can hurt. Love can heal.
Here is the article:
In the beginning, there was a boy, a girl and an apple.
He was a teenager in a death camp in Nazi-controlled Germany. She was a bit younger, living free in the village, her family posing as Christians. Their eyes met through a barbed-wire fence and she wondered what she could do for this handsome young man.
She was carrying apples, and decided to throw one over the fence. He caught it and ran away toward the barracks. And so it began.
As they tell it, they returned the following day and she tossed an apple again. And each day after that, for months, the routine continued. She threw, he caught, and both scurried away.
They never knew one another's name, never uttered a single word, so fearful they would be spotted by a guard. Until one day he came to the fence and told her he would not be back.
"I won't see you anymore," she said. "Right, right. Don't come around anymore," he answered.
And so their brief and innocent tryst came to an end. Or so they thought.
Before he was shipped off to a death camp, before the girl with the apples appeared, Herman Rosenblat's life had already changed forever.
His family had been forced from their home into a ghetto. His father fell ill with typhus. They smuggled a doctor in, but there was little he could do to help. The man knew what was coming. He summoned his youngest son. "If you ever get out of this war," Rosenblat remembers him saying, "don't carry a grudge in your heart and tolerate everybody."
Two days later, the father was dead. Herman was just 12.
The family was moved again, this time to a ghetto where he shared a single room with his mother, three brothers, uncle, aunt and four cousins. He and his brothers got working papers and he got a factory job painting stretchers for the Germans.
Eventually, the ghetto was dissolved. As the Poles were ushered out, two lines formed. In one, those with working papers, including Rosenblat and his brothers. In the other, everyone else, including the boys' mother.
Rosenblat went over to his mother. "I want to be with you," he cried. She spoke harshly to him and one of his brothers pulled him away. His heart was broken.
"I was destroyed," Rosenblat remembers. It was the last time he would ever see her.
It was in Schlieben, Germany, that Rosenblat and the girl he later called his angel would meet. Roma Radziki worked on a nearby farm and the boy caught her eye. And bringing him food - apples, mostly, but bread, too - became part of her routine.
"Every day," she says, "every day I went."
Rosenblat says he would secretly eat the apples and never mentioned a word of it to anyone else for fear word would spread and he'd be punished or even killed. When Rosenblat learned he would be moved again, this time to Theresienstadt, in what is now the Czech Republic, he told the girl he would not return.
Not long after, the Russians rolled in on a tank and liberated Rosenblat's camp. The war was over. She went to nursing school in Israel. He went to London and learned to be an electrician.
Their daily ritual faded from their minds.
"I forgot," she says.
"I forgot about her, too," he recalls.
Rosenblat eventually moved to New York. He was running a television repair shop when a friend phoned him one Sunday afternoon and said he wanted to fix him up with a girl. Rosenblat was unenthusiastic: He didn't like blind dates, he told his friend. He didn't know what she would look like. But finally, he relented.
It went well enough. She was Polish and easygoing. Conversation flowed, and eventually talk turned to their wartime experiences. Rosenblat recited the litany of camps he had been in, and Radziki's ears perked up. She had been in Schlieben, too, hiding from the Nazis.
She spoke of a boy she would visit, of the apples she would bring, how he was sent away.
And then, the words that would change their lives forever: "That was me," he said.
Rosenblat knew he could never leave this woman again. He proposed marriage that very night. She thought he was crazy. Two months later she said yes.
In 1958, they were married at a synagogue in the Bronx, a world away from their sorrows, more than a decade after they had thought they were separated forever.
It all seems too remarkable to be believed. Rosenblat insists it is all true.
Even after their engagement, the couple kept the story mostly to themselves, telling only those closest to them. Herman says it's because they met at a point in his life he'd rather forget. But eventually, he said, he felt the need to share it with others.
Now, the Rosenblats' story has inspired a children's book, Angel Girl. And eventually, there are plans to turn it into a film, The Flower of the Fence. Herman expects to publish his memoirs next year.
Michael Berenbaum, a distinguished Holocaust scholar who has authored a dozen books, has read Rosenblatt's memoir and sees no reason to question it.
"I wasn't born then so I can't say I was an eyewitness. But it's credible," Berenbaum said. "Crazier things have happened."
Herman is now 79, and Roma is three years his junior; they celebrated their 50th anniversary this summer. He often tells their story to Jewish and other groups.
He believes the lesson is the very one his father imparted.
"Not to hate and to love, that's what I am lecturing about," he said. "Not to hold a grudge and to tolerate everybody, to love people, to be tolerant of people, no matter who they are or what they are."
The anger of the death camps, Herman says, has gone away. He forgave. And his life has been filled with love.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
as time goes by...
Well, my first born turn 6 years old today. She is my sensitive, emotional, sometimes-drama-queen, sweet girl. This year so far has been the most interesting and joyful. With the start of kindergarten we are both learning and growing up. I love that we have these mini-adult-like conversations about empathy and seeing people through God's eyes...loving kindness to those who aren't loving nor kind and how it can be hard but God commands us to do so..."you don't have to be friends with everyone, but you do have to be friendly"...making good choices when we are not around to guide you...you cannot change or control anyone else, you can only control your behavior..."right is always right no matter how few people are doing it, and wrong and wrong no matter how many people are doing it"...yes, it is possible to have more than one good girl friend at a time...just don't play with the boys on the playground if they are going to tackle you and yes, they are very silly...God's love and purpose for us and Christ's sacrifice. It's exhaustingly thrilling. She's understanding some of it, how much I am not sure because we do seem to have the same conversations every day, but I remind myself that we are in our 30's and we still can have a hard time doing all of these! What joy and what fear to have to so much responsibility for our children. I really hope and pray that I don't screw them up too bad...I pray for God's protection from my human-ness and failures. Now you see how I have the tendency to worry and how I desperately need to give things to God...over and over it seems. I don't just need to lay things at the foot of the cross, I need to bury them, pour cement over them, topped by heavy boulders at the throne of grace and mercy.
My sweet and sassy girl, I pray for you to love Him and desire to know Him more each day. I pray that you will choose to follow the path He sets before you by faith all the days of your life. I pray that He will bless you and be well pleased with you. You are God's little princess and I hope you know how much you are loved.
Happy Birthday, Beautiful Girl! I love you!
On another note...I picked up a book at the store yesterday. It's called Youniquely Woman: Becoming Who God Designed You to Be by Kay Arthur, Emilie Barnes and Donna Otto. I have read only the first chapter, but it already seems Fab-u-lous! They each share their regrets and mistakes as young women and young mothers so that we can learn from theirs and choose to live life intentionally and choose the uncommon path...the path God set out for us."In these days of please-yourself-at-any-cost, living with intentionality might be called 'choosing an uncommon path.' Writer Fredrick Buechner once said, 'My assumption is that the story of any one of us is, in some measure, the story of all of us.' Our stories as Christan women -- daughters, wives, mothers, aunts, and grandmothers -- have common elements. In a broad sense, each life is like another. At different points in our lives, most of us have had similar hopes, goals, and dreams. All of us begin our journeys with aspirations and desires. But somewhere along the way the trails separate. The common woman moves into a common life. The uncommon woman, however, takes another path and becomes all that GOD intended her to be. 'The common begin, but the uncommon finish.' That's one of the thoughts I've repeated to myself through the years. And what is the reason paths separate? What causes one woman to accept an ordinary path into n ordinary life and another to end her story with great fulfillment and joy?
The path divider is courage.
Courageous choices at the crossroads of life separate uncommon life stories from everyday ones...
Yes, it takes courage to be intentional in your life.
It takes courage to choose an uncommon path.
It takes courage to stand up and stand out as a unique creation of God.
It takes courage to be the woman God created you to be as you live through each life season and seek to please God.
It takes courage not to compare yourself with women in movies, magazines and books.
It takes courage to swim against the strong current of popular culture.
It takes courage not to base your life on competition or defensiveness."
And this is just in the first chapter! Can you see why I am excited about it? "Increasing Measure. I understand this to mean that even up to the day before I die, I will accept the need for change and seek direction for that change, with the result that I am 'ever increasing' in those areas of life that matter most." I pray that God will grant me the courage to change the things in me that keep me from being the woman He desires me to be. For the biggest obstacle to my change...my joy...my freedom...is me.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
got grace???
"During a British conference on comparative religions, experts from around the world debated what, if any, belief was unique to the Christan faith. They began eliminating possibilities. Incarnation? Other religious had different versions of gods appearing in human form. Resurrection? Again, other religions had accounts of return from death. The debate went on for some time until C.S. Lewis wandered into the room. 'What's the rumpus about?' he asked, and heard in reply that his colleagues were discussing Christianity's unique contribution among world religions. Lewis responded, 'Oh, that's easy. It's grace.'"
"Guilt [exposing the longing for grace] was not my problem as I felt it. What I felt most was a glob of unworthiness that I could not tie down to any concrete sins I was guilty of. What I needed more than pardon was a sense that God accepted me, owned me, held me, affirmed me, and would never let go of me even if he was not too much impressed with what he had on his hands."
"I learned grace by being graced...Grace comes free of charge to people who do not deserve it and I m one of those people. I think back to who I was -- resentful, wound tight with anger, a single hardened link in a long chain of ungrace learned from family and church. Now I am trying in my own small way to pipe the tune of grace. I do so because I know, more surely than I know anything, that any pang of healing or forgiveness or goodness I have ever felt comes solely from the grace of God. I yearn for the church to become a nourishing culture of that grace." What's So Amazing About Grace by Phillip Yancey
Once again I was blessed to experience another amazing Shiloh. I just wish I could bring every woman to these events where we have beautiful worship and bold messages. I would love for every woman to come and feel loved on and learn about who they are and who they can be in Christ.
The subject of last night's teaching was "The Glory of Grace." However, it was not this sweet and mushy message like it sounds it would be...she taught out of Ezekiel 16. I just read this chapter for the Kay Arthur bible study we are doing. It was hard to read. Ezekiel was a prophet. Prophets were most often sent to convict...showing how God's people were not measuring up to His law. Ezekiel was sent to convict...but not on how they didn't measure up to His law, but to His grace. God is speaking to Israel...and calling her a prostitute. After everything He had done for her, she was turning her back to him and seeking everything else. He was her groom, He loved her, romanced her and provided for her...and Israel was unfaithful. Angela pointed out that this chapter doesn't just speak of God's anger...but, His heartbreak. How we break His heart when we sin...when we seek other idols -- anything we put before Him. He offered and called her to life...she was seeking everything of the world which leads to death. "An intimate look at the heart of our Father."
Angela said that God doesn't just want a relationship; He wants a romance. He is the groom...we are His bride. He doesn't want us to just fit Him in...He wants us to put Him first. He is jealous for us when we look to everything else in the world to satisfy and fulfill us. Angela posed the question, "What are we worshipping?" Alcohol, drugs, porn, pills, pride, tv, body image, acceptance...the list goes on and on...She ponders perhaps, we as Christians, have also been deceived. Perhaps we too are too of the world to be distinctive as Christians...to be set apart, as God intended and desires. That we are so saturated with secular views to even see how we are selling ourselves short and breaking His heart in the process.
She said that Christan missionaries in 3rd world countries that can be persecuted to the point of death think it's harder to be a Christian in the U.S. "We rarely find substantial differences between the moral behavior of Christians and non-Christians. We would love to report that Christians are living very distinct lives and impacting their community, but..." Dallas Morning News.
How convicting. And what a balance we need to seek and have. To be in the world but not of the world. To remember our sins so that we don't do them again, but to not burden ourselves with guilt and shame when we should stand in grace. What a gift. Grace. To receive what we don't deserve. To allow the Holy Spirit to speak to us and for us to be willing to do the work to change. Like she said before, "A healthy fear of God is caring more about what He thinks than what others think." Do my thoughts and actions reflect that? I still have so much work to do. And she said He wants us to work. He allows us opportunities to work..."an internal work for an eternal good."
I cannot change society...I am society. We are all society. We are a part of society. We make up society. So, when we blame society...who are we blaming? Us. You. Me. We are responsible...but for what? I can work on me. I cannot change the world...but, I can allow it to not change me. I can allow the Holy Spirit to work in me. I can allow God to work through me. Do I always put Him first? Do I care more about what others think than what He thinks? Do I worship idols of body image, acceptancee, pride? Do I want to stay this way forever? Whatever change I would like to see in the world...in society...my family...my children...begins with me.
The hope is that He still pursues us. Me. There is nothing we can do to make Him love us less. He is the Healer...the God of restoration...the Author of Salvation...and His mercy and grace never run out.
Refine Me, Jennifer Knapp
"Guilt [exposing the longing for grace] was not my problem as I felt it. What I felt most was a glob of unworthiness that I could not tie down to any concrete sins I was guilty of. What I needed more than pardon was a sense that God accepted me, owned me, held me, affirmed me, and would never let go of me even if he was not too much impressed with what he had on his hands."
"I learned grace by being graced...Grace comes free of charge to people who do not deserve it and I m one of those people. I think back to who I was -- resentful, wound tight with anger, a single hardened link in a long chain of ungrace learned from family and church. Now I am trying in my own small way to pipe the tune of grace. I do so because I know, more surely than I know anything, that any pang of healing or forgiveness or goodness I have ever felt comes solely from the grace of God. I yearn for the church to become a nourishing culture of that grace." What's So Amazing About Grace by Phillip Yancey
Once again I was blessed to experience another amazing Shiloh. I just wish I could bring every woman to these events where we have beautiful worship and bold messages. I would love for every woman to come and feel loved on and learn about who they are and who they can be in Christ.
The subject of last night's teaching was "The Glory of Grace." However, it was not this sweet and mushy message like it sounds it would be...she taught out of Ezekiel 16. I just read this chapter for the Kay Arthur bible study we are doing. It was hard to read. Ezekiel was a prophet. Prophets were most often sent to convict...showing how God's people were not measuring up to His law. Ezekiel was sent to convict...but not on how they didn't measure up to His law, but to His grace. God is speaking to Israel...and calling her a prostitute. After everything He had done for her, she was turning her back to him and seeking everything else. He was her groom, He loved her, romanced her and provided for her...and Israel was unfaithful. Angela pointed out that this chapter doesn't just speak of God's anger...but, His heartbreak. How we break His heart when we sin...when we seek other idols -- anything we put before Him. He offered and called her to life...she was seeking everything of the world which leads to death. "An intimate look at the heart of our Father."
Angela said that God doesn't just want a relationship; He wants a romance. He is the groom...we are His bride. He doesn't want us to just fit Him in...He wants us to put Him first. He is jealous for us when we look to everything else in the world to satisfy and fulfill us. Angela posed the question, "What are we worshipping?" Alcohol, drugs, porn, pills, pride, tv, body image, acceptance...the list goes on and on...She ponders perhaps, we as Christians, have also been deceived. Perhaps we too are too of the world to be distinctive as Christians...to be set apart, as God intended and desires. That we are so saturated with secular views to even see how we are selling ourselves short and breaking His heart in the process.
She said that Christan missionaries in 3rd world countries that can be persecuted to the point of death think it's harder to be a Christian in the U.S. "We rarely find substantial differences between the moral behavior of Christians and non-Christians. We would love to report that Christians are living very distinct lives and impacting their community, but..." Dallas Morning News.
How convicting. And what a balance we need to seek and have. To be in the world but not of the world. To remember our sins so that we don't do them again, but to not burden ourselves with guilt and shame when we should stand in grace. What a gift. Grace. To receive what we don't deserve. To allow the Holy Spirit to speak to us and for us to be willing to do the work to change. Like she said before, "A healthy fear of God is caring more about what He thinks than what others think." Do my thoughts and actions reflect that? I still have so much work to do. And she said He wants us to work. He allows us opportunities to work..."an internal work for an eternal good."
I cannot change society...I am society. We are all society. We are a part of society. We make up society. So, when we blame society...who are we blaming? Us. You. Me. We are responsible...but for what? I can work on me. I cannot change the world...but, I can allow it to not change me. I can allow the Holy Spirit to work in me. I can allow God to work through me. Do I always put Him first? Do I care more about what others think than what He thinks? Do I worship idols of body image, acceptancee, pride? Do I want to stay this way forever? Whatever change I would like to see in the world...in society...my family...my children...begins with me.
The hope is that He still pursues us. Me. There is nothing we can do to make Him love us less. He is the Healer...the God of restoration...the Author of Salvation...and His mercy and grace never run out.
Refine Me, Jennifer Knapp
I come into this place burning to receive your peace
I come with my own chains. From wars I've fought for my own selfish gain.
You're my God and my father. I've excepted your son.
But my soul feels so empty now what have I become?
Lord come with your fires, burn my desires refine me. Lord, my will has deceived me please come and free me. refine me, refine me.
My heart can't see When I only look at me. My soul can hear.
When I only think of my own fears. They are gone in a moment you're forever the same.
Why did I look away from you. How can I speak your name?
Lord, come with your fire burn my desires refine me. Lord.
My will has deceived me please come and free me.
Come rescue this child for I long to be reconciled to you.
Refine me. All I can do Is lift my heart and soul to you. And pray oh I will pray...
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