The past week as been...well, life. Life in motion. Nicky had strep a week ago and then Becca had her first fever, sending us to get a chest x-ray. Everyone hopefully seems to be on the mend for now...until the next thing. Nicky had soccer practice and his first game. Izzy had dance classes. And I am officially falling apart -- I had to start PT for my neck. Apparently years of tension and stress have taken up residence in my neck and jaw.
My friend, Stephanie, lost her brother to cancer. My friend, Beth, lost a friend to violence. There are people in the world, even in the church, who are hurtful and manipulative. There are people in the world, even in the church, who are hurting and broken.
In all of this death, destruction and despair, I still see hope. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28). I have seen the good that God can do. Like the song, "Shackles" says, "I want to praise Him in my circumstances!" Imagine me a beautiful black woman as I belt that out (you also have to imagine that I can sing).
Jonathan and I shared our testimony on Sunday at church. It was terrifying to be so vulnerable in front of so many people. Especially when one of your biggest struggles has been inscecurities and in the past having people use those very things in which you are vulnerable about against you. But, God kept telling me that there was someone there that needed to hear what we had been called to share. We received so much love, encouragement and support from our friends and our church family. If one person was touched, one seed planted or one heart opened by what we shared, it was worth it. "It is my joy to honor You, in all I do."
Time management, priorities, family, finances, laundry (blasted, laundry!!) callings and ministries all seem to be colliding. I am having to fight the voice in my head that is saying "Why can't you be more like...do more like...be more...do more...why do you seem to struggle...see how you failed there?" Life. Life in motion. As long as my motion is moving forward and not backwards...that is progress. God applauds our baby steps. He takes pleasure in even our smallest growth. And He delights in our obedience. I have to keep reminding myself of that.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
story of salvation
My college friend, Beth, sent this to me. God is so good to use our hurts, pain and tragedies to show us His amazing Love, Mercy and Grace so we can share it with others.
When you have time – find a nice cozy place and read every word. This is totally amazing testimony. Everyone could use a little Spiritual lift – even if they don’t show it. Some people may not even know it.
Blessings,
Bethany Fraser
My Experience in the Union Tornado – Feb. 5, 2008 by Heather Martin
Dear Friends, Family, and Professors,
As many of you know, I was involved in the F4 tornado that hit Union University last Tuesday (02-05-08). Many of you may have already read my account on facebook, but I wanted to give a more detailed version now that I have had a little more time to process. This may be a bit long, but my plan is just to walk you through that portion of my life.
Around 5:30, I was studying at Books-a-million and was planning on riding out the storm there. After a few phone calls from concerned friends, I decided to return to campus. I went to eat on campus with my roommates, Suzanne Short and Kellie Roe, around 6:00. We returned to the room and the weather began to change. It was stormy but it felt like it was just going to be another ordinary, frustrating tornado drill. I was stressing over the fact that I wasn’t going to get much studying accomplished. A mentor of mine from church, Julie Boyer, decided to come over and ride the storm out with us. She lives in an upstairs apartment in Cherry Grove and didn’t really want to spend that time with her neighbors below. She arrived around 6:30. Soon after, the 3 girls who live above us came down (as instructed). The RAs (resident advisors) were busy trying to make sure all students were in the downstairs dorm rooms. My roommate, Suzanne, is an RA, so she was in and out of our room. We were keeping an eye on the radar on TV, watching the system head straight toward us.
About 2 minutes before the tornado hit, my RA (and roommate) ran in and said, “Get in the tub, now!” (that would be the last time I would see her and know that she was alive until 11:30 or so later that night – as I was trapped, I didn’t see how there was even the slightest chance that she was alive and had made it to safety) We headed to the bathroom -- the three girls from upstairs got into the tub. Then our ears started popping (due to the pressure change). At that point, Kellie was almost into the tub and Julie turned to me and said, “We have to get in, NOW!” We shut the door, Julie jumped in – she was holding my hand – the lights went off – hail was pounding our building – and I was almost completely in when the tornado hit. I still have not come up with adequate words to describe the tornado. I’ll do my best. Everyone asks, “Did it sound like a train?” It sounded like a thousand trains. The noise was incredible. It was a roar. Julie was still holding me at this point and I felt my legs being pulled up by the force. And then, everything collapsed. There was a tremendous amount of pressure and it just kept pressing us and pressing us. Some of us were screaming – it was pushing the breath out of me, so I couldn’t scream. All of what I have just described occurred in about 5 or 6 seconds. As things were falling and the wind was swirling around us, I remember thinking,“This is NOT happening to me”. As quickly as it came, it left.
And then there was an eery silence and darkness. I couldn’t see anyone in the tub with me. It was so hard to breathe. There was a wall pressing down across my back, and my legs hadn’t made it into the tub. After being pulled by the tornado, they (my legs) got pinned between a wall of debris and the edge of the tub. I can’t describe my body position because it was so contorted, you would have to see a picture. One of the girls was able to call 911. She had her cellphone and thankfully could move enough to make the call. We found out later we were the first call from Union . My initial thoughts were: “Every student on this campus is either dead or trapped like we are. This is where I am going to die. No one will ever find us. We will be here for days and we won’t last that long”. We all accounted for each other and tried to calm each other down. Then, very methodically, I began to assess my situation. I realized my legs were pinned – but I felt no pain – breathing was going to be my biggest issue – and I was pinned under the wall (floor above us, really). I began to think about what my death would be like. I only had a small pocket of air and my whole body was compressed. I realized I was going to pass out, and then I would be with Jesus.
To some of you, that may sound very morbid, but it actually allowed me to move on and not panic in fear about the process of my death. At that point, I realized someone right next to me was breathing her last breaths. I had no idea who it was. I called out Julie’s name, the breaths were interrupted, and she responded to me. At this point, my heart sank. It felt like someone had stabbed it. I thought, “Dear Lord, I cannot handle losing another friend”. I began to pray out loud – telling Julie to breathe, not to talk, just to breathe – I was positioned on top of her in such a way that if I moved, she either couldn’t breathe or it caused her excruciating pain. I cannot even begin to describe the fear in my heart that this precious person was going to die underneath me. I prayed aloud – I tried to quote Scripture – at some point I found Kellie’s hand and she was praying as well. I realize now, Christ was guiding my thoughts from the very beginning – after coming to grips with the fact that this would most likely be the night of my death, I was able to move on and focus on simply breathing. I continued to pray aloud, and then at one point I had to tell Julie that I was out of breath and couldn’t pray out loud anymore, but that I was still praying in my heart and mind. Please do not see this as my being “strong” or “brave” or “courageous” – this was the power of Christ in me. He guided me in my thoughts – He helped me to focus on breathing, praying, and helping/encouraging Julie to breathe.
This whole experience was terrifying – but God was in the midst of us. I recall at times just crying out “God, You are here, You are here – give us strength, sustain us”. At one point, Kellie very calmly said, “Heather, it’s going to be okay”. Kellie now has no recollection of this. God used her and spoke through her directly to me in that moment. It was at that point that I had an overwhelming sense of peace. Peace – not because I was confident that we would be rescued – but peace from the fact that we were either going to join Christ in heaven or He was going to sustain us and leave us here on earth for a little while longer.
The tornado struck at 7:02 – the firemen arrived around 7:15. We were told later that when they arrived, the chief got out and was overwhelmed with the destruction. He sent off the team in twos to listen for voices. Students began to crawl out of their bath tubs. He heard muffled sounds near the pile of debris that used to be my dorm room. There were 15 ft. of rubble on top of us. They had to remove it by hand. (an earlier account said by backhoe, but that was a rumor). When the rescuers got close to us, it got really scary. Julie’s breathing was terrible at this point and she was in and out of consciousness. As the rescuers neared our tub, it was terrifying because the rubble and debris would shift and the pressure would increase. Several of the girls were screaming – I was trying to breathe and couldn’t scream very well. Finally light broke through. But Julie wasn’t doing well. I couldn’t move because it hurt her and she couldn’t breathe. Her neck was exposed in such a way that if the rescuers slid the debris off, her neck would snap. She told me later that she was thinking, “I’ve survived the tornado, only to be killed in the rescue.” She told me I had to tell them where she was. The firemen were telling us not to scream and panic, because they thought we were in pain each time we did. At this point, I could see one of the fireman’s face. I screamed at him. I said, “Can you see my face??” – (he could) – then I screamed out, “I am not panicking. You have to listen to me. There is someone stuck under me and if I move she can’t breathe. Her neck is exposed, so you can’t slide the debris. You have to lift it.” Then, they lifted off the main piece, and for the first time in 45 minutes, we could breathe in fresh air!!
They got the other girls out and Julie and I were left. They tried to get me next, but my legs were still pinned. So, they got Julie out. Then, a fireman came and held me. He held my torso and my head. He kept telling me, “We’re gonna get you out of here.” It took a lot of maneuvering and strength on the part of the rescuers because I couldn’t feel my legs unless there was a lot of pain – and I couldn’t feel them enough to pull them out myself. I noticed there was a 2x4 right next to my right knee, between the edge of the tub and the mass of debris. That 2x4 had kept just enough of the pressure off of my legs so that I didn’t completely lose blood flow to my lower extremities. It saved my legs.
We were rescued. We sustained only minor injuries. I ended up being taken to the ER because I passed out, but it was just from the shock. My body is intact. I am now walking around without a limp and I am just experiencing pain from the strained muscles in my back. As I have reflected over Tuesday night, I see the Lord. I cannot explain our survival – and the fact that there were NO fatalities – aside from the fact that God loves us a whole lot and He is not through with us here on earth. The destruction and chaos of Tuesday night is incredible. The amazing power, strength, grace, and love of Jesus Christ is the only explanation I have to offer. In the midst of the chaos and rubble, He knew how each board, each brick, each piece of metal and concrete were placed – and He protected us. Another thought that keeps recurring is the testimony of the father of my friend who was killed in an avalanche a month ago. She died and her brother (who was hiking with her) made it out. Their father said, “Our God saves. He saved Nick from the avalanche, and He saved Lygon (my friend) unto Himself.”
Those words ring so true of my experience. I have struggled in the past with my faith – wondering if I were “truly saved” – wondering what my last thoughts would be. Well, now I know. My “last thoughts” were: “God has me. Either way I am okay. I will either join Him in heaven, or He will save me for yet a little while longer here on earth.” My desire as you read my story is that you will be impressed with the Lord. Do not call me a hero. Every thought I had Tuesday night was guided by Christ – the calmness I had was directly from Him – He gave me peace – He sustained me by His grace and strength. I have struggled and fought against the Lord a whole lot in the last couple of months. I’ve struggled to trust Him – to accept His unconditional love for me. Yet, He proved Himself in such a mighty way Tuesday night. I am amazed at His goodness – His faithfulness.
I hope you are as well. He is a mighty God. I have lived through a tornado. However, I am not fearless. The next few weeks and months actually are a pretty scary thought to me right now. I have a lot to work through. There are sounds and feelings stored in my memory that are terrifying and paralyze me at times. My mentor and dear friend almost died underneath me. I am struggling to come to grips with that. I am struggling to sleep because there are so many vivid images and feelings when I shut my eyes. However, I find hope in this: God knew, as I lay pinned in that tub, that I would make it out. He is the One responsible for getting me out. Simply put, He is not through with me yet. He already knows what each and every second of the next few weeks and months hold for me, my friends, and my family. And knowing that, gives me hope – it keeps me going. He sustained me through Tuesday night and He will continue to sustain me in the days that follow.
My friend Beth McDowell, a nurse who was on site Tuesday, (and was with me right as they were putting me onto the stretcher) quoted these verses to me: “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed” – 2 Corinthians 4:8,9. As you have read my story, you’ve read a lot about God. It may sound a bit odd if you don’t know Him personally. But here’s the truth: I cannot explain ANY of the events of Tuesday without acknowledging that God was there – He sustained and covered us all with His protection. I should not be alive today -- but I am because He still has plans for my life here on earth. He is good. If you don’t know Him, you need to. He loves you. He wants a relationship with you. I pray that through my story, you have caught a glimpse of who He is – His love – His sovereignty – His strength – and His grace – and ultimately, His salvation.
When you have time – find a nice cozy place and read every word. This is totally amazing testimony. Everyone could use a little Spiritual lift – even if they don’t show it. Some people may not even know it.
Blessings,
Bethany Fraser
My Experience in the Union Tornado – Feb. 5, 2008 by Heather Martin
Dear Friends, Family, and Professors,
As many of you know, I was involved in the F4 tornado that hit Union University last Tuesday (02-05-08). Many of you may have already read my account on facebook, but I wanted to give a more detailed version now that I have had a little more time to process. This may be a bit long, but my plan is just to walk you through that portion of my life.
Around 5:30, I was studying at Books-a-million and was planning on riding out the storm there. After a few phone calls from concerned friends, I decided to return to campus. I went to eat on campus with my roommates, Suzanne Short and Kellie Roe, around 6:00. We returned to the room and the weather began to change. It was stormy but it felt like it was just going to be another ordinary, frustrating tornado drill. I was stressing over the fact that I wasn’t going to get much studying accomplished. A mentor of mine from church, Julie Boyer, decided to come over and ride the storm out with us. She lives in an upstairs apartment in Cherry Grove and didn’t really want to spend that time with her neighbors below. She arrived around 6:30. Soon after, the 3 girls who live above us came down (as instructed). The RAs (resident advisors) were busy trying to make sure all students were in the downstairs dorm rooms. My roommate, Suzanne, is an RA, so she was in and out of our room. We were keeping an eye on the radar on TV, watching the system head straight toward us.
About 2 minutes before the tornado hit, my RA (and roommate) ran in and said, “Get in the tub, now!” (that would be the last time I would see her and know that she was alive until 11:30 or so later that night – as I was trapped, I didn’t see how there was even the slightest chance that she was alive and had made it to safety) We headed to the bathroom -- the three girls from upstairs got into the tub. Then our ears started popping (due to the pressure change). At that point, Kellie was almost into the tub and Julie turned to me and said, “We have to get in, NOW!” We shut the door, Julie jumped in – she was holding my hand – the lights went off – hail was pounding our building – and I was almost completely in when the tornado hit. I still have not come up with adequate words to describe the tornado. I’ll do my best. Everyone asks, “Did it sound like a train?” It sounded like a thousand trains. The noise was incredible. It was a roar. Julie was still holding me at this point and I felt my legs being pulled up by the force. And then, everything collapsed. There was a tremendous amount of pressure and it just kept pressing us and pressing us. Some of us were screaming – it was pushing the breath out of me, so I couldn’t scream. All of what I have just described occurred in about 5 or 6 seconds. As things were falling and the wind was swirling around us, I remember thinking,“This is NOT happening to me”. As quickly as it came, it left.
And then there was an eery silence and darkness. I couldn’t see anyone in the tub with me. It was so hard to breathe. There was a wall pressing down across my back, and my legs hadn’t made it into the tub. After being pulled by the tornado, they (my legs) got pinned between a wall of debris and the edge of the tub. I can’t describe my body position because it was so contorted, you would have to see a picture. One of the girls was able to call 911. She had her cellphone and thankfully could move enough to make the call. We found out later we were the first call from Union . My initial thoughts were: “Every student on this campus is either dead or trapped like we are. This is where I am going to die. No one will ever find us. We will be here for days and we won’t last that long”. We all accounted for each other and tried to calm each other down. Then, very methodically, I began to assess my situation. I realized my legs were pinned – but I felt no pain – breathing was going to be my biggest issue – and I was pinned under the wall (floor above us, really). I began to think about what my death would be like. I only had a small pocket of air and my whole body was compressed. I realized I was going to pass out, and then I would be with Jesus.
To some of you, that may sound very morbid, but it actually allowed me to move on and not panic in fear about the process of my death. At that point, I realized someone right next to me was breathing her last breaths. I had no idea who it was. I called out Julie’s name, the breaths were interrupted, and she responded to me. At this point, my heart sank. It felt like someone had stabbed it. I thought, “Dear Lord, I cannot handle losing another friend”. I began to pray out loud – telling Julie to breathe, not to talk, just to breathe – I was positioned on top of her in such a way that if I moved, she either couldn’t breathe or it caused her excruciating pain. I cannot even begin to describe the fear in my heart that this precious person was going to die underneath me. I prayed aloud – I tried to quote Scripture – at some point I found Kellie’s hand and she was praying as well. I realize now, Christ was guiding my thoughts from the very beginning – after coming to grips with the fact that this would most likely be the night of my death, I was able to move on and focus on simply breathing. I continued to pray aloud, and then at one point I had to tell Julie that I was out of breath and couldn’t pray out loud anymore, but that I was still praying in my heart and mind. Please do not see this as my being “strong” or “brave” or “courageous” – this was the power of Christ in me. He guided me in my thoughts – He helped me to focus on breathing, praying, and helping/encouraging Julie to breathe.
This whole experience was terrifying – but God was in the midst of us. I recall at times just crying out “God, You are here, You are here – give us strength, sustain us”. At one point, Kellie very calmly said, “Heather, it’s going to be okay”. Kellie now has no recollection of this. God used her and spoke through her directly to me in that moment. It was at that point that I had an overwhelming sense of peace. Peace – not because I was confident that we would be rescued – but peace from the fact that we were either going to join Christ in heaven or He was going to sustain us and leave us here on earth for a little while longer.
The tornado struck at 7:02 – the firemen arrived around 7:15. We were told later that when they arrived, the chief got out and was overwhelmed with the destruction. He sent off the team in twos to listen for voices. Students began to crawl out of their bath tubs. He heard muffled sounds near the pile of debris that used to be my dorm room. There were 15 ft. of rubble on top of us. They had to remove it by hand. (an earlier account said by backhoe, but that was a rumor). When the rescuers got close to us, it got really scary. Julie’s breathing was terrible at this point and she was in and out of consciousness. As the rescuers neared our tub, it was terrifying because the rubble and debris would shift and the pressure would increase. Several of the girls were screaming – I was trying to breathe and couldn’t scream very well. Finally light broke through. But Julie wasn’t doing well. I couldn’t move because it hurt her and she couldn’t breathe. Her neck was exposed in such a way that if the rescuers slid the debris off, her neck would snap. She told me later that she was thinking, “I’ve survived the tornado, only to be killed in the rescue.” She told me I had to tell them where she was. The firemen were telling us not to scream and panic, because they thought we were in pain each time we did. At this point, I could see one of the fireman’s face. I screamed at him. I said, “Can you see my face??” – (he could) – then I screamed out, “I am not panicking. You have to listen to me. There is someone stuck under me and if I move she can’t breathe. Her neck is exposed, so you can’t slide the debris. You have to lift it.” Then, they lifted off the main piece, and for the first time in 45 minutes, we could breathe in fresh air!!
They got the other girls out and Julie and I were left. They tried to get me next, but my legs were still pinned. So, they got Julie out. Then, a fireman came and held me. He held my torso and my head. He kept telling me, “We’re gonna get you out of here.” It took a lot of maneuvering and strength on the part of the rescuers because I couldn’t feel my legs unless there was a lot of pain – and I couldn’t feel them enough to pull them out myself. I noticed there was a 2x4 right next to my right knee, between the edge of the tub and the mass of debris. That 2x4 had kept just enough of the pressure off of my legs so that I didn’t completely lose blood flow to my lower extremities. It saved my legs.
We were rescued. We sustained only minor injuries. I ended up being taken to the ER because I passed out, but it was just from the shock. My body is intact. I am now walking around without a limp and I am just experiencing pain from the strained muscles in my back. As I have reflected over Tuesday night, I see the Lord. I cannot explain our survival – and the fact that there were NO fatalities – aside from the fact that God loves us a whole lot and He is not through with us here on earth. The destruction and chaos of Tuesday night is incredible. The amazing power, strength, grace, and love of Jesus Christ is the only explanation I have to offer. In the midst of the chaos and rubble, He knew how each board, each brick, each piece of metal and concrete were placed – and He protected us. Another thought that keeps recurring is the testimony of the father of my friend who was killed in an avalanche a month ago. She died and her brother (who was hiking with her) made it out. Their father said, “Our God saves. He saved Nick from the avalanche, and He saved Lygon (my friend) unto Himself.”
Those words ring so true of my experience. I have struggled in the past with my faith – wondering if I were “truly saved” – wondering what my last thoughts would be. Well, now I know. My “last thoughts” were: “God has me. Either way I am okay. I will either join Him in heaven, or He will save me for yet a little while longer here on earth.” My desire as you read my story is that you will be impressed with the Lord. Do not call me a hero. Every thought I had Tuesday night was guided by Christ – the calmness I had was directly from Him – He gave me peace – He sustained me by His grace and strength. I have struggled and fought against the Lord a whole lot in the last couple of months. I’ve struggled to trust Him – to accept His unconditional love for me. Yet, He proved Himself in such a mighty way Tuesday night. I am amazed at His goodness – His faithfulness.
I hope you are as well. He is a mighty God. I have lived through a tornado. However, I am not fearless. The next few weeks and months actually are a pretty scary thought to me right now. I have a lot to work through. There are sounds and feelings stored in my memory that are terrifying and paralyze me at times. My mentor and dear friend almost died underneath me. I am struggling to come to grips with that. I am struggling to sleep because there are so many vivid images and feelings when I shut my eyes. However, I find hope in this: God knew, as I lay pinned in that tub, that I would make it out. He is the One responsible for getting me out. Simply put, He is not through with me yet. He already knows what each and every second of the next few weeks and months hold for me, my friends, and my family. And knowing that, gives me hope – it keeps me going. He sustained me through Tuesday night and He will continue to sustain me in the days that follow.
My friend Beth McDowell, a nurse who was on site Tuesday, (and was with me right as they were putting me onto the stretcher) quoted these verses to me: “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed” – 2 Corinthians 4:8,9. As you have read my story, you’ve read a lot about God. It may sound a bit odd if you don’t know Him personally. But here’s the truth: I cannot explain ANY of the events of Tuesday without acknowledging that God was there – He sustained and covered us all with His protection. I should not be alive today -- but I am because He still has plans for my life here on earth. He is good. If you don’t know Him, you need to. He loves you. He wants a relationship with you. I pray that through my story, you have caught a glimpse of who He is – His love – His sovereignty – His strength – and His grace – and ultimately, His salvation.
Monday, February 18, 2008
the tear by lord byron
Psalm 126:5
"Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy."
WHEN Friendship or Love,
Our sympathies move,
When Truth in a glance should appear,
The lips may beguile,
With a dimple or smile,
But the test of affection's a tear.
Too oft is a smile,
But the hypocrite's wile,
To mask detestation, or fear,
Give me the soft sigh,
Whilst the soul telling eye
Is dimm'd, for a time, with a tear.
Mild charity's glow,
To us mortals below,
Shows the soul from barbarity clear,
Compassion will melt,
Where this virtue is felt,
And its dew is diffused in a tear.
The man doom'd to sail,
With the blast of the gale,
Through billows Atlantic to steer,
As he bends o'er the wave,
Which may soon be his grave,
The green sparkles bright with a tear.
The soldier braves death,
For a fanciful wreath,
In Glory's romantic career;
But he raises the foe,
When in battle laid low,
And bathes every wound with a tear.
When with high bounding pride,
He returns to his bride,
Renouncing the gore crimson'd spear;
All his toils are repaid,
When embracing the maid,
From her eyelid he kisses the tear.
Sweet scene of my youth,
Seat of Friendship and Truth,
Where Love chac'd each fast-fleeting year,
Loth to leave thee I mourn'd,
For a last look I turn'd,
But thy spire was scarce seen through a tear.
Though my vows I can pour,
To my Mary no more,
My Mary to love once so dear,
In the shade of her bower,
I remember the hour,
She rewarded those vows with a tear.
By another possest,
May she live ever blest,
Her name still my heart must revere,
With a sigh I resign,
What I once thought was mine,
And forgive her deceit with a tear.
Ye friends of my heart,
Ere from you I depart,
This hope to my breast is most near,
If again we shall meet,
In this rural retreat,
May we meet, as we part, with a tear.
When my soul wings her flight,
To the regions of night,
And my body shall sleep on its bier;
As ye pass by the tomb,
Where my ashes consume,
Oh! moisten their dust with a tear.
May no marble bestow,
The splendour of woe,
Which the children of Vanity rear,
No fiction of fame,
Shall blazon my name,
all I ask, all I wish, is a tear.
"Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy."
WHEN Friendship or Love,
Our sympathies move,
When Truth in a glance should appear,
The lips may beguile,
With a dimple or smile,
But the test of affection's a tear.
Too oft is a smile,
But the hypocrite's wile,
To mask detestation, or fear,
Give me the soft sigh,
Whilst the soul telling eye
Is dimm'd, for a time, with a tear.
Mild charity's glow,
To us mortals below,
Shows the soul from barbarity clear,
Compassion will melt,
Where this virtue is felt,
And its dew is diffused in a tear.
The man doom'd to sail,
With the blast of the gale,
Through billows Atlantic to steer,
As he bends o'er the wave,
Which may soon be his grave,
The green sparkles bright with a tear.
The soldier braves death,
For a fanciful wreath,
In Glory's romantic career;
But he raises the foe,
When in battle laid low,
And bathes every wound with a tear.
When with high bounding pride,
He returns to his bride,
Renouncing the gore crimson'd spear;
All his toils are repaid,
When embracing the maid,
From her eyelid he kisses the tear.
Sweet scene of my youth,
Seat of Friendship and Truth,
Where Love chac'd each fast-fleeting year,
Loth to leave thee I mourn'd,
For a last look I turn'd,
But thy spire was scarce seen through a tear.
Though my vows I can pour,
To my Mary no more,
My Mary to love once so dear,
In the shade of her bower,
I remember the hour,
She rewarded those vows with a tear.
By another possest,
May she live ever blest,
Her name still my heart must revere,
With a sigh I resign,
What I once thought was mine,
And forgive her deceit with a tear.
Ye friends of my heart,
Ere from you I depart,
This hope to my breast is most near,
If again we shall meet,
In this rural retreat,
May we meet, as we part, with a tear.
When my soul wings her flight,
To the regions of night,
And my body shall sleep on its bier;
As ye pass by the tomb,
Where my ashes consume,
Oh! moisten their dust with a tear.
May no marble bestow,
The splendour of woe,
Which the children of Vanity rear,
No fiction of fame,
Shall blazon my name,
all I ask, all I wish, is a tear.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Renewal...Restoration...Redemption
I have to be honest that I have had a hard time blogging lately. These peaks and valleys keep coming and no sooner am I on a peak, that the valley is already on the horizon. I just keep taking comfort in knowing that God works all things for good for those called according to His purpose. Romans 8 talks about having hope in the things unseen and having hope gives us perservance. Perserverance takes us through the journey and the pain to the blessings that waits for us on the other side. I am certainly not yet at the point where I am saying, "Thank you, Lord, for this painful experience and for the growth and faith you have provided from it." However, I am at the point where I know that time will come. God is so Good. His character is so Faithful. His word is Truth. And I praise Him for His perfect love, comfort, forgiveness and grace. I praise Him for the friendships and amazing Christian women He has brought into my life. I am awed by the miracles He has done in my husband - my knight in shining armor. Jonathan surprises, encourages and inspires me every day, while still holding me accountable and challenging me to grow. God knew what He was doing when He brought us together. Now, there is something difficult that I look back on and say, "Thank you, Lord, for that painful experience!" For the blessings have been abundant. He was bigger than my marriage. Now, He is bigger than my dreams, my hurts, my fears and my heart. I know He is taking me to a place where I have never been before. And I am choosing to Trust Him. I have been blessed through the brokenness. Now, I am waiting and ready for the restoration and redemption.
Women of Faith was everything I needed. It was hard, emotional, healing, joyful and renewing. I have been carrying the message and the high from the weekend with me. I hope to never lose it. Beth Moore is next!! Whoop, Whoop!!
Some highlights from the weekend.
Women of Faith was everything I needed. It was hard, emotional, healing, joyful and renewing. I have been carrying the message and the high from the weekend with me. I hope to never lose it. Beth Moore is next!! Whoop, Whoop!!
Some highlights from the weekend.
- A child afraid of the dark isn't half as bad as a man afraid of the light.
- 2 Corin 9:8 "And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work."
- Do not judge anyone on anything but the content of their character - Martin Luther King
- BEE: Be aware of yourself. Eliminate the negatives. Eternal value (only what we do for Christ will last). In Christ we can BEE our best.
- I know wherever I walk, I walk by Faith and my steps are ordered by the Lord. - Thelma
- When God Winks - So many links...What is God telling me?
- John 3:16. Max Lucado. He Loves. He Gave. We Believe. We Live.
- Born Again - God does the work. From Above. The One who did it First, does it Again. Born - God exerts the Effort. Again - God restores the Beauty.
- Here in the Love of Christ I Stand.
- With Christ this earth is the nearest you will ever get to hell. Without Christ this earth is the nearest you will ever get to heaven.
- Mandissa ROCKS!!
- Sherri Shepard is beautiful!!
- I want to be like Patsy when I grow up!
- Women in Christ are super duper cool.
- I wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere else, with anyone else than where I was and who I was with.
- I have the best friends in the whole wide world.
- God Loves Me. And He says I Delight Him.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
peaks and valleys...
I am getting ready to go to the Women of Faith Conference with a gaggle girlfriends. I have had a couple of weeks of peaks and valleys (hence, my lack of posting) and am really in need of a respite, revival and renewal of spirit. I will be sure to post when I return...with hopefully more peaks than valleys! From struggles to glory...with hardships as a pathway to peace.
Women of Faith...We are fearfully and wonderfully made for purpose...to Know Him, Love Him and Believe Him. He wants more from us in order to give more to us. His desire is to bless us abundantly for our Hope in the things unseen, Faith in His word and Love for Him and each other, so others may come to know Him through us. "The king is enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord." (Psalm 45:11). Let us be Revived and Redeemed. My Prayer and Hope for us is to be REFINED (by Jennifer Knapp):
I come into this place
Burning to receive your peace
I come with my own chains
From wars I've fought for my own selfish gain
You're my God and my FatherI've accepted your Son
But my soul feels so empty now
What have I become?
Lord, come with your fire,
Burn my desires; refine me
Lord, my will has deceived me
Please come and free me
Refine meMy heart can't see
When I only look at me
My soul can't hear
When I only think of my own fears
They are gone in a moment
You're forever the same
Why did I look away from You
How can I speak Your name?
Lord, come with Your fire,
burn my desires; refine me
Lord, my will has deceived me
Please come and free me
Come rescue this child
For I long to be reconciled to You
It's all I can do
To give my heart and soul to You
And pray, and pray, oh I will pray
Lord, come with Your fire,
burn my desires; refine me
Lord, my will has deceived me
Please come and free me
Come rescue this child
For I long to be reconciled to You
Refine me, refine me
Women of Faith...We are fearfully and wonderfully made for purpose...to Know Him, Love Him and Believe Him. He wants more from us in order to give more to us. His desire is to bless us abundantly for our Hope in the things unseen, Faith in His word and Love for Him and each other, so others may come to know Him through us. "The king is enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord." (Psalm 45:11). Let us be Revived and Redeemed. My Prayer and Hope for us is to be REFINED (by Jennifer Knapp):
I come into this place
Burning to receive your peace
I come with my own chains
From wars I've fought for my own selfish gain
You're my God and my FatherI've accepted your Son
But my soul feels so empty now
What have I become?
Lord, come with your fire,
Burn my desires; refine me
Lord, my will has deceived me
Please come and free me
Refine meMy heart can't see
When I only look at me
My soul can't hear
When I only think of my own fears
They are gone in a moment
You're forever the same
Why did I look away from You
How can I speak Your name?
Lord, come with Your fire,
burn my desires; refine me
Lord, my will has deceived me
Please come and free me
Come rescue this child
For I long to be reconciled to You
It's all I can do
To give my heart and soul to You
And pray, and pray, oh I will pray
Lord, come with Your fire,
burn my desires; refine me
Lord, my will has deceived me
Please come and free me
Come rescue this child
For I long to be reconciled to You
Refine me, refine me
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