Have you ever felt like you are going backwards?? I find myself at my parents feeling more overwhelmed with what's coming up than relaxed on a semi-vacation. I got so much done while the kids stayed with them for a week. I purged and organized, decluttered and got ready for a new school year of paperwork and activities to come. I am shamelessly and ridiculously proud of my laundry room where all things school and cleaning are kept (I so wish I could call it a mud room....does anyone actually have a mud room? I keep seeing them in magazines and hope to meet someone that actually has one). I went through all of the clothes and closets, 2 bins and 6 bags of trash. And I now realize and accept that it is impossible to do that kind of cleaning and normal day to day cleaning. I went to the gym in the morning and I worked on organizing from 12-7 every day...and did nothing else. No wonder only one type of cleaning gets done at a time. I was able to save one day for total top to bottom house cleaning and one day for me.
I spent delicious time with my husband. We had evenings to ourselves and a terrific date. I think we ran the dishwasher once and the only reason I had more than one load of laundry to do was to do the sheets. Wow....but, as much as I accomplished and loved time with my sweet hubby...I desperately missed my kids. You know the quote, "Being a mother is like having your heart walk outside of your body for the rest of your life." How to strike the balance.....no seriously, how??
I read a book, "Breathe: Creating Space for God in a Hectic Life" that my sister in law gave my last summer as I panicked and obsessed before Izzy started kinder. I found myself drawn to this book again as I picked reading material for my parents lake house. As I started reading it, I thought, "Wow...this is so me...I really need to apply this...why didn't I remember this from last time?" Now, do you know what I mean about going backwards? This book talks about the Hurried Woman's Syndrome (seriously) and how hurry and stress effects our physical, emotional, mental and spiritual health. It stresses how imperative it is to live from the Center and how to keep God as the Center in order to slow down, simplify and live intentionally for Simplistic Sabbath. How we need to say "NO" as much as we say "YES". All things that we know and that we actually desire...so why is it so hard? And why do some women seen to be able to strike and achieve that balance better than others? Why do I seem to worry and obsess more than others? All things that I am sure Sam and I will discuss in depth more...
So, while I try to focus my thoughts more on gratitude and thankfulness...try to live in the spirit of joy, patience, kindness, love and self-control...try to slow down, simplify and have intentional Sabbath, I have several appointments for the kids and me, dance classes for Izzy and Becca, piano for Nicky and Izzy, soccer for Nicky, Back to School Night, Women's Ministry and Celebrate Recovery....oh and 5 pounds to lose that don't seem to be wanting to go anywhere...no matter how many times I wake up at 5 am to go workout...waiting for me when I return. Paved with good intentions...isn't that what they say? To be in the world, but not of it. To have a full life, but not get lost in the hurry of it. Paradoxes and contradictions. As Sam would say, life is all about holding these two things...contradictions and paradoxes in your hands at the same time....Balance.
If anyone has any insight, please feel free to share. I think we all need to know we are not alone in figuring out this thing called life. To not feel judged, but to know we are doing the best we can. To not be faced with criticism...goodness knows I provide enough for myself that I don't need it from anyone else. But, to be faced with compassion and understanding and maybe even relating. And perhaps when we make strides and grow in understanding and achievement of these things, we should remember from whence we came to get there. I am so lucky to have my amazing husband and family and women that in my life that I admire and that I can learn from. God has been so good to me. We are renewed and refined to bring glory to Him and to share it with others...to give Hope.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Thursday, July 16, 2009
keeping the faith...
Jonathan's job is going well. He is happy and without a laptop and blackberry from the company, he is not expected to work from home. I didn't realize how much time he spent working at home before. He's coming home later, which makes for a long day for mama, but when he's home he is 100% home. It's such a blessing! He is making less than half of what he was making before. It's going to be a huge adjustment for us. It's worth the sacrifice and I know that God will use this time as a valuable lesson for us to refocus on what's truly important and truly be grateful for what we have been given. We are still luckier than most...all of us are.
I am going on my 6th week straight of working out hard. WHEW! I just want props for keeping up with it...because I am tired! I am getting my lab work done next week to check my iron and thyroid levels again to make sure they are still in the normal range. I'm back to feeling fatigued and sluggish, which has been a struggle this summer with 3 kids (sick on and off), this ridiculous heatwave and just trying to keep up. That's how I feel....just trying to keep up...and it's exhausting. But, enough of my pity party, right? But, I will say, old school Bon Jovi is great to run to! When we come back from Dallas, I am planning on doing the Body for Life plan. Jonathan did it years ago and it was fabulous...perhaps after a 6 year break he might be willing to try again! :) Hmmm....we will see...
The kids and I will be leaving for Dallas tomorrow. We will be going to American Girl for Becca's birthday lunch and spending time with Nana and Papa both in Dallas and at the lake house. I am hoping for a break and some relaxation. My kids, without much of a structured schedule, have been up late this summer and Becca has all of a sudden decided not to sleep. I can't believe I am actually looking forward to school so that we can get back into a routine and schedule!
Izzy is loving dance team again and she and Nicky are going to start piano lessons when we get back from Dallas. Nicky is signed up for Fall soccer again and is so excited for Jonathan to coach his team again. Becca loves her dance class and dances to every song or commercial she hears...especially my cell phone Black Eyed Peas ring tone. It was very entertaining at the dentist office.
It's hard to believe that when we come back from Dallas, we will only have 3 weeks left until school...another year.
I am going on my 6th week straight of working out hard. WHEW! I just want props for keeping up with it...because I am tired! I am getting my lab work done next week to check my iron and thyroid levels again to make sure they are still in the normal range. I'm back to feeling fatigued and sluggish, which has been a struggle this summer with 3 kids (sick on and off), this ridiculous heatwave and just trying to keep up. That's how I feel....just trying to keep up...and it's exhausting. But, enough of my pity party, right? But, I will say, old school Bon Jovi is great to run to! When we come back from Dallas, I am planning on doing the Body for Life plan. Jonathan did it years ago and it was fabulous...perhaps after a 6 year break he might be willing to try again! :) Hmmm....we will see...
The kids and I will be leaving for Dallas tomorrow. We will be going to American Girl for Becca's birthday lunch and spending time with Nana and Papa both in Dallas and at the lake house. I am hoping for a break and some relaxation. My kids, without much of a structured schedule, have been up late this summer and Becca has all of a sudden decided not to sleep. I can't believe I am actually looking forward to school so that we can get back into a routine and schedule!
Izzy is loving dance team again and she and Nicky are going to start piano lessons when we get back from Dallas. Nicky is signed up for Fall soccer again and is so excited for Jonathan to coach his team again. Becca loves her dance class and dances to every song or commercial she hears...especially my cell phone Black Eyed Peas ring tone. It was very entertaining at the dentist office.
It's hard to believe that when we come back from Dallas, we will only have 3 weeks left until school...another year.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
It's been a while...
Ok....first of all, I would like major props for my new blog. For those that know me, know that I am not a crafty person. I leave the scrapbooking, card making and cake decorating to those friends of mine that do it well...and Martha Stewart. And that fact that I have updated my blog at all is an achievement in itself!
Well, it has been quite a summer...Izzy finished kindergarten...and I survived. Nicholas turned five last week. Becca is as crazy as ever...and has finally started talking a little. Even if she is the only one who can truly understand what she is saying. She will be 2 at the end of this month. That and her starting her dance class has made her seem less like a baby and more like a big girl. Jonathan started a new job...right after his 3 month contract with Grande ended. And it seems to be the perfect job for him that kept us here in this place that has become home. In God's perfect timing and his many blessings that we never seem to deserve. It has also been a summer of ear infections and viruses and we are finally healthy -- all at once!
I witnessed a dear friend say good-bye to her mother after a long battle with cancer. I missed out on being there with an old friend who said to good-bye to her mother after a long battle with cancer. I am witnessing a dear friend dealing with her father's recent cancer diagnosis. And I am witnessing a dear friend fighting cancer. All three of them with grace, honesty, strength and much, much faith. They have been such an inspiration and a reminder of God's power and love. And I ask...with real life and real problems is it really necessary that we are seriously on a week of Michael Jackson news coverage?
I have started a new work out program with a friend that does private Pilate's sessions. It has been amazing. I finally realized with 3 kids, a husband that doesn't get home until 7pm and a home and life to take care of, the only way I would get it fit in would be to get up at 5:15 every morning to work out. I am proud to say that I am on my 4th week. I am past the exhaustion part and now looking forward to seeing results! Or, rather, I am trying to keep a positive attitude that I will see results after all this hard work!
I am also looking forward to some down time this summer...visiting my parents, leaving the kids with them to be spoiled for a few days while my hubby and I get spoiled by having alone time together for the first time in a long time. I am looking forward to my "retreat" before school starts again...heading to the lake house alone for a short weekend to spend time with God...to refocus, refresh and renew.
Izzy will be baptized right before school starts (I can't believe she will be starting 1st grade and turning 7)...she asked Jesus into her heart this summer after VBS. God is so good and I pray that she continues to follow Him all the days of her life. We have decided we will not be having any more birthdays in the Baker home. I don't mean parties...I mean birthdays. Izzy cannot ever turn 8, Nicky 6 or Becca 3...that's just too old and it would mean they are growing up. I just realized that in 11 short years or so Izzy will be leaving home. Ouch. Time is just moving too fast! At least Nicky will have one more year before heading off to kindergarten. And Becca, well, she loves her dance class, make up and shoes...I think we are in trouble! :)
I feel like I have fallen behind on keeping in touch...facebook, blogging, emails...they can consume so much time. I have taken a huge step back from keeping up with those in the last few months. But, I realized I have missed the family updates of my far away friends. I hope you all are well and feeling blessed!
Well, it has been quite a summer...Izzy finished kindergarten...and I survived. Nicholas turned five last week. Becca is as crazy as ever...and has finally started talking a little. Even if she is the only one who can truly understand what she is saying. She will be 2 at the end of this month. That and her starting her dance class has made her seem less like a baby and more like a big girl. Jonathan started a new job...right after his 3 month contract with Grande ended. And it seems to be the perfect job for him that kept us here in this place that has become home. In God's perfect timing and his many blessings that we never seem to deserve. It has also been a summer of ear infections and viruses and we are finally healthy -- all at once!
I witnessed a dear friend say good-bye to her mother after a long battle with cancer. I missed out on being there with an old friend who said to good-bye to her mother after a long battle with cancer. I am witnessing a dear friend dealing with her father's recent cancer diagnosis. And I am witnessing a dear friend fighting cancer. All three of them with grace, honesty, strength and much, much faith. They have been such an inspiration and a reminder of God's power and love. And I ask...with real life and real problems is it really necessary that we are seriously on a week of Michael Jackson news coverage?
I have started a new work out program with a friend that does private Pilate's sessions. It has been amazing. I finally realized with 3 kids, a husband that doesn't get home until 7pm and a home and life to take care of, the only way I would get it fit in would be to get up at 5:15 every morning to work out. I am proud to say that I am on my 4th week. I am past the exhaustion part and now looking forward to seeing results! Or, rather, I am trying to keep a positive attitude that I will see results after all this hard work!
I am also looking forward to some down time this summer...visiting my parents, leaving the kids with them to be spoiled for a few days while my hubby and I get spoiled by having alone time together for the first time in a long time. I am looking forward to my "retreat" before school starts again...heading to the lake house alone for a short weekend to spend time with God...to refocus, refresh and renew.
Izzy will be baptized right before school starts (I can't believe she will be starting 1st grade and turning 7)...she asked Jesus into her heart this summer after VBS. God is so good and I pray that she continues to follow Him all the days of her life. We have decided we will not be having any more birthdays in the Baker home. I don't mean parties...I mean birthdays. Izzy cannot ever turn 8, Nicky 6 or Becca 3...that's just too old and it would mean they are growing up. I just realized that in 11 short years or so Izzy will be leaving home. Ouch. Time is just moving too fast! At least Nicky will have one more year before heading off to kindergarten. And Becca, well, she loves her dance class, make up and shoes...I think we are in trouble! :)
I feel like I have fallen behind on keeping in touch...facebook, blogging, emails...they can consume so much time. I have taken a huge step back from keeping up with those in the last few months. But, I realized I have missed the family updates of my far away friends. I hope you all are well and feeling blessed!
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