boundaries...

Isn't it amazing when God answers a specific prayer?? I have been praying for something specifically...not even a huge request in the long scheme of life's big picture...but, He heard and He answered. I have to be honest to say it makes me feel significant, visible and loved. And isn't that something we all need to feel from time to time? To feel significant...to feel as though we matter. To be seen and heard...especially by those we love. And to be loved...even when we are unlovable. Praise God!

I also have been praying for preparation and protection for Isabelle and our family as we begin this new journey in her life. For God to just surround us with people and friends that will encourage and lift us up. To place people and friends in our lives that will help set the example of the life we are trying to live. We watched Juno the other night...and although humorous, it scared me to death. The mind of a mother can be a very scary thing and it does not take much for it to go to scary places. I realize the importance of parents in a child's life, but I also realize the influence of the friends in their life. I was so blessed with the friends that God put in my path along my journey. I still am blessed with wonderful and amazing friendships. I pray for the same kind of friends for my children as they start their own journey in life. Good and Godly friendships that will help them keep their path straights and be extensions of how we live at home.

Because for every wonderful relationship I have had, I have had hurtful ones. Mostly by my own poor choices. If I could spare the hurt for Isabelle, for all of my children, I would. I know some hurt in life is inevitable, but it's just unfortunate. However, I am at a place in my life where all of the hurt is really producing positive change...and through change...blessings. Isn't that the point of hurt anyway? If we do nothing with it, then we went through the pain for nothing. When we should be taking our experiences and learning, growing, changing, healing and sharing the grace we received to give hope to others that may face the same hurts. To show people God through our change...to produce fruit.

The fact is there are hurtful people in the world. And not just in the world, but in our churches, in our communities, in our friendships and in our families. And while we need to offer understanding, compassion and Christ-like love, as most often they are hurtful people because they themselves are hurting, we also to need to establish healthy boundaries. Christ-like love does not translate into being a doormat...to accepting unacceptable behavior. This has been a very hard lesson learned for me. I am 31 years old and just now realize that I need to have boundaries with people, especially hurtful people. Especially hurtful people that don't recognize they are hurtful, see no need for them to change, find their problems are always other people's fault and take no responsibility or accountability for their part. The balance I am seeking is offering the compassion without having a relationship that is self-destructive for me.

The week was a good one. The recital was a success. Becca found that she loves to dance and clap to music...all night. Nicky discovered that once his big sister was done dancing that "this is not fun" anymore. I will post pictures later.

Choices Through Recovery:

Choice of attention - to pay attention to this and ignore that - is to the inner life what choice of action is to the outer. In both cases, a man is responsible for his choice and must accept the consequences.--W. H. AudenMany of us have said, "I can't help myself!" when we tried to stop our constant thinking about other people or their behavior. "I know it's not good for me, but what can I do when they keep acting that way?"Let us think of ourselves as living in a house with many windows. At each window is a different view, and within each view are many things to catch our attention -- perhaps there are some people, some traffic, some buildings, a horizon, and some trees. If we always go to the same window and focus on the same object, we are not using all our choices. We may have overlooked some things in our lives that need attention. There are many things we are totally powerless over. Our power exists in changing the focus of our attention.